I frequently get them and bleacher report confused.

Seems as though the judge knows she’ll win her case and the only punishment he can give is to keep her in jail while the process plays out. This is a gross abuse of power.

I once drove 800 miles through the night to get my wife to a job interview the next morning. I kew I was losing my job in 3 weeks when my company was shutting down. We blew a tire at 2 am. I Got the spare on, my wife made the interview and would eventually get the job. Next day I call around to find somewhere that has …

My grandma birthed 12 children. She only had an epidural with the last. Her one piece of advice to my wife prior to the birth of our first was to get the epidural. Get the epidural. 

David Stern?

So the Jazz who beat the Thunders in the playoffs last year have no all Stars while the Thunders have 2. Okay.

I’ll probably head to the coast super bowl weekend and DVR the game to watch if the Rams win. That’s how I got through the Broncos last super bowl. So look for me among the tide pools and Dungeness crab.

Peaks head out from behind wall...

Begin with the fact that the suspect had a criminal record and was apparently on parole. If that’s the case, then he is not afforded the same legal protections as someone who is not in the system. All of these law enforcement agencies should have coordinated better. Saying that subpoenas have to be acquired and things…

Santa brought me a switch pro controller. When me 5 year old saw it, he asked his older sister who received it. She said it was Dad’s. To which he replied, “yes! That means we can all play with it!” Then he got mad because I played with it first.

Wait! Is sprite lime milk or lemon milk? That’s why brands of things are so important. Because sometimes only limon milk will do.

So the larger context here i that his ejection was in retaliation for criticizing the officials after a loss to Miami earlier in the week. NBA officials are running their own little mafia.

Cough...20 years...cough

My toilet has way more societal value than twitter

There should be a rule that if you’re extending your own second round pick, the extension doesn’t count against the salary cap. You shouldn’t be punished for outsmarting the rest of the league.

I use this recipe too! Next time throw some pine nuts in with the bacon just before you drop the noodles in. 

The guy in my neighborhood wearing the inflatable stay puft marshmallow man suit messed me up. That’s too scary.

And she's in heels

I have multiple children and my Costco membership literally pays for itself. If you shell out for the executive membership, they give you a check for 2% of your yearly purchases. I think it even includes your gas purchases. My check has never not covered the cost of the membership.

Just because Donald Trump has bankrupted everything he’s ever been in charge of doesn’t mean he will bankrupt ever thing he’s put in charge of. I’m sure that if Donald Trump had a history of bankrupting everything he touches it would have been exhaustively covered by the media during the 2016 presidential election.