I get in trouble with the cats if I shut the bathroom door. No matter what I am doing in there, they want to be part of it.

What’s surprising (but really shouldn’t be) is how improvised so many aspects of the the whole experience are, and how many random curveballs there can be, even though it’s something that happens so frequently, you’d think it would be routine. I blame television and movies for perpetuating the idea of the “routine…

Bananas bind the stool and pull water out of it, which is why you eat them when you have diarrhea. When you eat 51 of them a day, I’m pretty sure that shit would be harder than a diamond.

A lot of stuff on different reservation are not connected to outside stuff. We have to go through the FBI for law enforcement. It’s a big legal mess. I don't think people realize how bad it really is.

Apparently if you have an episiotomy (which skeeves me the hell out) you can’t wipe yourself after using the toilet. One, you’ll disturb your stitches, and two, you want to flush away as much germiness as possible. My friend had to use a peri bottle and DIY bidet herself for like six weeks.

Squeezie bottle of lukewarm water.

Or a principal pretending to be a teacher in order to work fewer hours and spend more quality time with the delightful children.

I don’t have kids, but every understanding I have of maternity leave involves no sleep, falling behind on everything, dealing with far too many visitors, and not being able to wipe your ass with toilet paper for a while. I don’t envy anything here.

His answer is so textbook narcissistic that I can’t even deal right now. Clearly, he only sees women (or girls, really) as a way to be pleasured/pleased. Gross, gross, gross and gross.

And then to manage to escape. I cannot imagine what he’s gone through.

He was so brave to jump in the van so his sister wouldn’t go alone. The poor boy is only 9 years old, there’s nothing he could have done to stop an adult predator. Utterly heartbreaking.

My heart and thoughts are with her brother. I hope he always knows there’s nothing he could have done to stop this.

“She hasn’t left a void. She’s left a blast crater.”

She’s left a blast crater.

For him to think he deserves any credit for ‘saving’ her is just repugnant.

“And she was picked up and put in an orphanage. And so I’ve been able to really make her life better.” - Woody Allen

That line made me want to crawl out of my own skin. Ughhhh.

And he seems a little confused about who exactly changed her life by adopting her from Korea.

When your first response to “how has your wife changed you” is “well, she gives me a lot of pleasure” ... that is not a healthy dynamic.

Please, please, please tell me where I can collect these supposed Big Pharma paychecks I’ve been earning.