I want to go to each of these fuckin’ crybabies’ houses individually and break one of their pinky fingers so they learn what it actually feels like when someone wrongs them.

I thought they meant this parentage:

I can’t tell if he’s trying to slice the ball with that forehand, or if he just (like everything else in his life) doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing.

He’s got Goldfinger’s physique, and Oddjob’s brain power.

Are there really two Watt brothers or is JJ running a long con?

He lacks the organizational skills required to properly Bond villain.

If he’s a Bond villain, he deserves to go out Live and Let Die style...inflated to death choking on a CO2 capsule.

“Phony whore Stormy Daniels just stated that my ‘penis looks like a baby snake that died shedding its skin.’ Will someone from Kimmel’s fake and sad hit-job show please inform her that it was cold that night, but my penis is much bigger and more powerful, and it works!”

It takes a brave soul to wear white after downing four or five Big Macs.

Celery is bad, as well as everything celery comes into contact with as it spreads its gross funk to them like an STD.

Correct, celery is the worst food. If for no other reason than Michele Bachmann declared it was her favorite food. But even without out, it’s vile.

It’s called the Rectgal exercise from the word Rectum and Kegal.

So Celery is so bad that it is literally killing you when you eat it by consuming your body...

The only acceptable way celery is eaten is when it’s pulverized and cooked down to invisibility.

Yeah both of my parents grew up eating steamed or boiled sprouts and so they hated them. I didn’t get to try them until as a teen a family I babysat for made them on the stove and they’re now my favorite vegetable!

Lima beans. Death incarnate in vegetable form.

“With the fresh scent of a newly mowed lawn I ran the school bus blinking it’s ruby red stop light. I took the 3 steps up and was greeted with a nod and a grunt by our surly bus driver. Viewing 2 dozen seats pulling aways from me, I was come over by social anxiety on how to find where to sit without embarrassing…

This thread has proven to be neither interesting nor enjoyable (or matter that much), and now takes up a ridiculous chunk of the first part of the comments, so thank you so much for that.

I’ve already noticed them in the comments and they are somehow not greyed...

That outfit is gonna need a lot CGI.