Unfortunately most of the bars I’ve been to look at me blankly when I order a rye Manhattan and tell me that they don’t have any ryes at the bar. Then I point to the Canadian and they’re confused.

When my BF orders two fingers of scotch, he likes to hold out his index finger and his pinkie. He would have been happy with the result in this story, even if it was the wrong liquor.

Oh please! A cat wouldn’t get caught in a cistern and make their friend spend a week trying to rescue it.

As ny husband always tells our sons, “don’t be proud of your ignorance.” If only more people listened.

This is what’s wrong with America right here. This. Not Bristol Palin herself, but what she represents — the fact that so many stunningly, proudly pig-ignorant, determinedly undereducated, information-resistant people think they know enough about anything to tell others how they should think and behave.

I continued working my way through season 3 of Community and it was the best television decision I’ve ever made.

It warms my heart how many Zevon fans there are around these parts.

Now I have that song stuck in my head.

Best use of a Warren Zevon lyric I’ve seen today. =)

Please stop using your youth and talent to remind me how I wasted mine. I find your elastic skin and enthusiasm terrifying.

Sue them until the mere thought of expressing their prejudices against another innocent student makes them gag.

“Yes, can I speak to the owner of the business about his Merchant Servicses processing? Because this in reality is a cold call to speak to that person and in no way did I listen to your greeting because you are probably a minion in the business, or we used an auto-dialer and your response just triggered the computer…

He’s a ridiculous candidate and a despicable human being, but there is definitely a lesson that candidates who aren’t sociopaths and bigots should learn from Trump: There’s a lot of people out there who prefer unrehearsed gibberish to a well constructed thought that comes out rehearsed. I’m not saying someone should…

During the children’s sermon on Christmas Eve, the pastor gave the gifts these gorgeously wrapped presents. The kids opened them and the boxes were empty - he was building to something. So he asked the kids if they knew why their boxes were empty? Much much louder than he anticipated due to the fine ascoustics in the…

Well this is a story of my grandfather at a moment of great family sadness and pain.

Easy. A writing desk is a rest for pens and a raven is a pest for wrens.