I watched the preview for Quantico and then called my mother to say I’d be joining the FBI. Look how many diverse people there are! Look how many women there are! That show looks badass. Where can I get my badge and my gun?

As an attendee of weddings can I say, I’m happy for you. I’m glad to attend your wedding plus the obligatory pre-events. I’m glad to celebrate your love and decision to spend the rest of your life with your significant other. But I don’t need your matrimonial voodoo. I don’t want to catch your love cooties. I’m happy…

Which is bizarre because I don’t remember having a female professor teach in heels. I did have a prof. this semester teach the entire lecture with her hood up and a Jimi Hendrix t-shirt. But never heels.

I’m jelly, we had Fmr. Secretary of the Interior, Ken Salazar and he was a snooze.

I would. I also would watch Colbert Report during. I have. I’d do it again if the show wasn’t off the air.

I’ll pay whatever you want if you give me those passover fruit candies.

Really? I had always heard that it was reciprocal in both directions, because the guidelines were the same? Seems silly since the general attitude is it’s the same god.

Making your meat Halal is just good business sense. Both Muslims and Jews can eat Halal meat (or Kosher in the alternative) and there is NO PHYSICAL DIFFERENCE from regular meat.

Those aren’t the conditions in all salons though, especially outside of the NY area. I live in Colorado, a manicure costs $40 before tip, the owner and all the women who work in the salon speak English, their kids attend some of the state’s best universities.

I’ve only ever had good experiences in Colorado, but the place I go is very obviously family owned. The women chatter (in English and Korean), their kids are in universities across the state, School of Mines, Metro State, and CU, they know the names of their customers and crack jokes with us. It’s hard to tell though,…

What of those jokes were in-jokes? Or do you mean in to black people? Cause I feel like this is stuff we try to tell people and no one believes us.

Theresa Guidice is doing “as well as she could,” in prison says sister-in-law Melissa George.

I’m lucky (?) enough that neither of my sisters have married but we’re shit at giving each other presents.

Tangent: I hate scheduled gift giving/ receiving. I love to give presents when I stumble upon something I think you’ll love, but other than that? Nope. I’d much rather I spend my money on me, you spend your money on you and we’re all happy with the shit we own.

I love the things people/ organizations try to claim they’re not liable for. My mom used to cross out the liability statement on all of our permission slips for school and no one ever called her on it.

I know! It’s gonna be on TV! How great is that?!

No, it’s on TV, doesn’t cost anything extra!

This is always what comes to mind when teens talk about how no one understands how hard it is for them.

If you do have an adult cat, def. get a kitten instead of another adult cat. At least with a kitten, your older cat has a sense of dominance (though in my guy's case it was totally imagined).

The people who run shelters are often the reason people go to the pet store! When my parents got a cat back in aught four, maybe aught five, the rescue asked my dad if they could come do a home visit. I think he said sure and then ignored their phone calls.