That has a lot to do with the fact that my “issues” are a legitimate medical concern. While theirs are the fashionable hipster food-trend de jour.

There is a difference between “having an allergic reaction” and “having to taste a food you dislike”.

Seriously? There is nothing else that you can write about today? I mean, the bar is already pretty low for Jezebel, let’s not bury it completely, eh?

CARVEL ICE CREAM CAKE IS THE BEST IN EXISTENCE! DO NOT SLANDER CARVEL!

Can we focus on the police violence against these kids, actually?

I would suggest using Google but I’ll be nice.

Once, an 8-top of Christians left one of those “Here’s a Tip for You!” pamphlets on my table, in lieu of a cash tip. I was sort of used to this, so I didn’t remark much, just tossed it into the bus tub with the rest of the debris, and a glower.

I don’t want to say this but i’m going to anyway, religious people are the absolute worst people.

Well, the article fails to mention that there were actually three sisters at the beginning of their road trip.

People who like Pepsi are weird.

Beyoncé could not be reached for comment.

Ha, my grandparents MET at a Boeing plant - my grandfather was an electrician, my grandmother was a spot welder. After they got married and she had a baby, my grandmother went to work in a daycare center for other factory workers’ children - a new concept at the time.

You have got to be joking?! Uzo Aduba is a fucking phenomenal actress. Say what you will about where the writing/story direction went but the acting on this show is pretty much across the board quite good.

Throw your condoms in the trash people.

Won’t someone think of the real victims here?!

Great, you want to find them all homes and psychiatric care so they can take care of themselves. She wants to feed them NOW because they’re hungry NOW.

This is going to be terrible for me. I will be getting DMs hourly about people wanting to get into my squad. I’ll just say now that there is a process you have to go through. You’ll know it when you go through it.

have you ever had a friend bring you a really good bagel or something and you call her an angel? and then another friend is like, “why must you constantly put friends on the highest of high pedestals? can’t they just be someone with a great deal of good bagels doing something good?” and you’re like, “whatever, she’s…

But you’ll make a comment on a post about one - that’s SO interesting.

I can’t face this election without Jon Stewart. CAN’T DO IT.