I'm going to need Loretta Lynn to sing at her swearing in ceremony, please.

I went to David's Bridal with my mom, with my MOH on FaceTime. I was miserable. The bra and crinoline were fucking uncomfortable and they kept bringing me dresses that were the EXACT OPPOSITE of what I told her I wanted (which I refused to try on.) After she finally listened, I ended up buying the second dress I…

Shade Court is the single greatest regular feature of Jez: the Next Generation.

Tig Notaro - Live is now on Spotify. Go listen to it. It is free. It is one of the best sets ever performed. Stop reading this comment and go listen to it. If you got this far, you fucked up. Seriously, why are you still reading this?

Single mom, here. My experience, and that of other women I've worked with, has been exactly the opposite. when I gave birth to my son, I didn't even qualify for FMLA, because I hadn't been with the company for 12 months before giving birth. So there's that.

You know what reward you get for not having a kid? Not having to deal with a kid. AND hold down a job at the same time. I don't have kids myself (nor do I want them), but trust me, working moms have it much harder than you do. When their kid is sick, they do not consider it "time off" or "getting a pass"— they're…

I mean... I don't really care either way tbh. Miley can go lay down on a train track after her Terry Richardson bullshit.

If that's wrong, I don't wanna be right.

I want them to be dating so badly, because I really, really want Miley to have a connection to the Kennedys. This is imperative in my mind.

I read that as Patrick Swayze and I was confused.

Trust me: they are.

I remember the night after the first time I voted, I learned Obama won when Colbert was sitting next to Stewart for the election special and he was pretending to be distressed as he announced Obama was the projected winner. I'm going to miss his show.

So she's in black and white IRL?

Actually that's not the line: it's "I'm a comedian first." Which is not meant to get him out of having to have the courage of his convictions, but to define his role in the political process. Specifically, when Fox or their allies tries to nail him down as some sort of left-wing political machination. He says he's a…

And this is the point when some staffer sets him up with Notepad on his computer and tells him it is the "new" Twitter...

Being beat is not fun: trust me, I would know.

"What am I missing here?"