Orca Bay chairman Stan Mcammon couldn’t live with a verbal agreement overnight and forced Canucks GM Pat Quinn to call up the player who agreed to sign and demand to complete the paperwork that night, causing the deal to fall through.

Lets remember some buzzkills: Tom Renney banned beer on Canucks team flights before being fired 19 games into the 1997-98 season.

So, what, the Canucks can’t play Fortnite in other NHL cities but their GM can continue to play checkers on a chessboard? 

you figured he would’ve switched to red red wine for that one

True story - what’s even sadder for that beer vendor is that his job doesn’t even provide enough to allow him to go back to his home in Kansas to visit his father. His dad had to use some of his retirement savings to travel to Landover just to be able to see his boy.

Good.

Obviously they need Noah, stat!

Let me guess: the fucking Patriots are going to get him for a song.

Maybe he thought she was only wearing a red waistband.

Who was the first MLB player younger than you? Who was the last MLB player older than you? Here is a neat way to find that out.

Just show up in it. What are they really going to do? They’re French.

Mansion 1 was just too big, mansion 2 was too small, after it gained sentience mansion 3 constantly makes creepy comments about how you’re now inside it and it’s jusssst right and mansion 4 is being slowly moved through time to be the base of operations for a war 1000 years ago.

Waiter: Would you like some pepper, Mr. West?

“DADDDDYYYYYY DIDNT GIVE ATTENTIOONNNNNNN”

The clearest message that I get out of WYTS every year is that attending an NFL game in person is a fucking horrible decision and only idiots do it.

Baltimore: Donnie.

Look at Michael J. Fox. You drink water, you mind your goddamned business, and you too can not look like a Kraft Single.

Anyone who knocks Duke out of the 1st round has license to say whatever he wants forever

Also

Saw the pic and thought “Who is this prosperous, bourgeois pig and what has he done with Jim?!”