Ok girl, let me tell you right now: I am 30. I had the signs of these lines, which was not at all surprising given how expressive I am, and retin-a is a miracle. I started using an oil based cleanser (you will need all the gentle skin products) started with retin-a creme every other night to build up tolerance,…

"Man, some people REALLY do not play when it comes to their Del Taco."

You need to get their version of the supreme taco. Don't get me wrong, Taco Bell is like my lovely wife who I can come home to anytime for the same amazing dinner, but Del Taco is my slightly exotic mistress who sometimes feeds me crinkle fries by hand with my faux-Mexican cuisine and it is very wrong but also…

Well, if they didn't pay for whore pills like a good craft store, maybe God would have protected them from this misfortune.

She also said the sex list was real...that it was her 5th step in AA and one of her movers leaked it.

Goddammit, I'm just gonna switch to cash and checks. That's right ladies, I'm that asshole in front of you writing a check in 2014.

I will season the sauce after I get home prior to dinner.

Different soaks for different folks...

Um, maybe I should seek counseling. Cause, with a guarantee that I wouldn't get eaten along with the soup, I would totally do this.

I can't even lie — I still eat Chik-Fil-A. I justify it for two reasons: 1) it's delicious, and 2) they're throwing money into a completely lost cause (marriage equality is a no-win proposition for them), so my money only contributes to them wasting money in a fight they can't win.

I have much more hatred for Papyrus than Comic Sans. It is the scourge of every day spa, new age shop, and wellness center.

Just wanna say - you're not alone in that. Until I was 20-21, I didn't know females could masturbate or what a clitoris was or that women could orgasm / wear tampons without having a male partner first! Some trial and error with an awkward first boyfriend and some very enthusiastic/ helpful female peers helped a lot…

There is no way that my hair would ever grow that long but I think I'd be really afraid of getting my hair in the toilet by accident or having it fall into my plate at dinner. It seems like it cause a number of sanitary issues.

I love long hair but lol past the waist seems nuts!

Yessss so many yeses

That was the most heartwarming masturbation story ever!

I'm pretty sure I've told this story around here before...

So, who here never actually got any sort of sex talk? As progressive as my parents were, their discomfort with the subject prevented them from EVER discussing it with me. When I was probably sixteen (in other words, way too late) my mother vaguely asked me if I had any "questions" and then never brought it up again.

And this is why I have no patience with most "stylists." Who the hell gets to decide the Universal Rules Of How Long Your Hair Is Allowed To Be?

Let me tell you about the shirt I was wearing - patchwork sweater with orange, yellow, and pink boxes. I spilled glue on it and cried...because "THIS WAS THE SWEATER I MET ARNOLD IN." My mother threw it away, it was that hideous.