I came out of the theater feeling like I’d overeaten. And not overeaten really good food either. It was like I’d had five corn dogs and a giant wad of cotton candy. Just, like, “I am filled with junk.” 

Those are called ‘cargo pants’.

Eh. There’s such a thing as a film too bad for Rifftrax to make fun/funny.

When you have to labor this hard to imagine a better film AND better precursor films, then there’s something wrong with ALL of the films that can never be fixed.

Where’s that “Why not both?” girl gif when I need it . . .

I drive an ambulance. For free. But sure, you tell me anything you want about sacrificing a little bit for everyone.

Just buy one that actually works for $35 on Amazon. Pretty much every nursing student in America buys one of these things. Runs off 2 AAA batteries. Also gives you a pretty good pulse rate.

Yep. If you are an adult not wheezing for breath or turning pink from hydrogen cyanide or carbon monoxide inhalation, then right now I will tell you: you have an SPO2 of between 95 and 99%.

Oh for fuck’s sake: Are you a healthy adult who isn’t currently wheezing for breath and/or in a room filling with gas or carbon monoxide? Fine: Your SPO2 is between 95% and 99%.

*looks it up*

As well, there seems to be emerging evidence that the virus can reinfect survivors

Just fyi: I’ve Dismissed all your replies. Go complain about straw men to an actual straw man.

Yeah. I’m delivering groceries weekly to my mother-in-law. If we need to take special care of ‘the most vulnerable’ then we can do that. That’s a well-established model of social care.

You’re saying I don’t actually believe the things I’m saying? That’s what ‘bad faith’ means, you understand, right? Not that I’m saying things you think are bad, the current Folk Definition of these things.

Ah. “My kind.” Okay then.

No need to wait, here you go!

and they deserve your empathy

had better be just as open about demanding it from leaders like President Trump as well

I think it was Kurt Vonnegut who said the bravest human beings in history were not explorers or warriors but Tasters: The first people who ever looked at something and said, “I’m going to eat that.” Think of how many of those people we lost over the millennia. And how much we owe to those who survived. 

Oh. Well in that case I’m like the worst movie theater customer ever since I have never gone to the concession stand. I walk right in with a bag of salted almonds and two canned beers in my jacket pockets (I legit buy jacket based on pocket size for this reason).