Mmm, ‘cause this worked SO well with Ghostbusters ‘18, Charlie’s Angels, Oceans 8, Hustlers and Birds of Prey (The Fantabulous Creation of One Professor Harley Hufnagel).

Mmm, yes: Angry badgering. That’s what wins people over. Scold people into seeing movies. That’s the Charlie’s Angels playbook. And look how well it worked out...

Rickets is making a comeback too: Kids spending most waking hours indoors now.

They need to rebrand themselves. A reboot as ‘Souther Dakota’ or something.

Pretty sure people will still eat food without pictures of it. 

I would also like to it be taxed extra. Like, each year, take the money we spend treating obese people and divide it by the number of bottles of soda sold in the U.S.: That is this year’s soda tax.

WHY DOES HE GLISTEN SO?!

Without the 40 pizzas, we all have to grapple with the fact that he’s just NATURALLY that moist.

[a meme of some kind]

I do. All the time. It means the same thing as magazine. Or maybe it doesn’t. I don’t care. I just like irritating gun faggots.

My apologies should I check with you before commenting on anything here at all?

[standard, tedious gripe here about how everyone’s using the term ‘entropy’ in not-quite-the-right-way according to thermodynamics]

Eh. I feel like this question leads nowhere except to becoming the ‘protagonist’ (if I can even use that term) of Ready Player One. 

Meanwhile, as a loving monogamous couple, we prefer this lovely and tender romantic ballad...

That’s either very likely or not at all likely: Woman is >thisclose< to retirement . . .

No but then . . . he wouldn’t, would he?

Anyone seen Drew Magary’s post about G/O trying to staff up Deadspin again and that they’re using the proposed job profiles that HE WROTE before quitting?

I suppose. I’m still mildly disappointed that Mrs. Pillow couldn’t quite squeeze him out before midnight on Halloween. I’ve long suspected people born on Halloween can see and talk to ghosts or something.

The kid’s birthday is November 1. He is VERY EXCITED to be able pre-register vote in the presidential election of 2028.