My friend, let me tell you about rec league softball.

He would’ve completed those passes if it weren’t for those darn kids!

I agree. I’ve been hitting the bat since like the 80's.

I’m of a similar age and my dedicated stoner friend from college swears by this gear when stealth, quickness, and convenience are required.

I have never made my own crackers. Unless you count my three kids

The NFL on Fox theme gives me anxiety. If it was playing it meant it was Sunday and I still had homework to do, plus my dad was about to get really, really mad at the Eagles to boot.

Drew for the love of God man, stop buying weed vapes in DC. They are wonderfully convenient, no doubt, but when DC legality is in such a gray area, I cant help but worry. The site I used to figure out who to buy from here, run by a lovely guy known as the Gentleman Toker, recently took the entire site offline because…

Bottomless mimosas are the best “All You Can Eat Food.”

Yeah, like AUTOPLAY ADS IN ARTICLES WITH A VIDEO.

got a Volcano about 15 years ago because I want my lungs to be pink when they fry me.  Still works fine.  Grind your own and you don’t need to worry about all those nasty additives.

Also (and I’m surprised that nobody has ever thought to say this before) fuck Tom Brady.

I don’t really have skin in the autoplay video game - I keep the media volume permanently on mute on my phone because I know there’s shit out there trying to catch me out no matter which site I’m on (even the non-porn ones). But seriously, I’ve seen sooo many complaints about it. Please can you sort it out before more…

The media may not be to blame for that, but they are responsible for the fucked up game of Where’s Waldo I have to play to find the fucking autoplay video blocking the sound from a video I, ya know, actually want to hear.

Player 1: [rolls ‘Screw You!’, moves ahead three spaces]

On a network of useless talking heads Matthew Berry is somehow the most useless. It’s almost impressive. He’s telling people what characters to use in a video game and, in this instance, is mad that he told people the wrong thing. What a dork.

What could he possibly be mad about? He gets paid what i assume is a decent salary to do a made up job, talking about a made up game, while being about as accurate as a weatherman doing it. Big picture, Matthew!

Silver lining is that every minute Berry spends ranting about meaningless bullshit is one minute less he can spend sexually harassing Jenn Sterger.

In fairness to Matthew Berry, he really can’t afford for his audience to figure out he has no special knowledge and is basically just guessing at fantasy football like the rest of us. 

Fantasy football has very little to do with skill and a lot to do with luck.