When you said that, I thought you meant the other Robert Johnson (i.e. Jay-Z sold his soul to the devil).

If you don’t want to drive, take a bus.

I believe that is spelled “Cotomer sevis.”

Seriously! If you’re wearing sunglasses you can’t see S#!T. And if you’re someone like me, who wears prescription sunglasses, you have to take them off and find your regular glasses, pump your gas, then put your regular glasses away and put your sunglasses back on. Grrr...

Can I call David Tracy direct to get out of the grays? It’s only like 10 years.

“Western Pennsylvania cracker plant”

this is the shitty real life version of Randy Floyd’s coach

“No.”—The Ghost of Huey Long

demonstrate their appreciation to the RCAF, including its board of directors, staff and investors

I feel like the only thing you got right was counting to three successfully.

That was a pithier reply than I'd have expected from him, but it's probably not the first time he finished quickly talking about feet.

Much has been made about Harbaugh’s comment about “taking the over” regarding LJ’s rushes. I don’t get it. After he took over as the starter last year in week 11, he rushed a total of 119 times in seven regular season games, which averages out to 17 rush attempts per game. Say LJ rushes 140 times this season through…

I’m imagining them calling Les Miles, who arrives at the training facility in a silver Acura NSX, Wolf-style.

Hey Hey hey, just because there are in the pub in the afternoon doesn’t mean they are drunk. It is the younger gobshites who will be drunk by then.

Clap ain’t supposed to be smooth, everyone knows that.  Burns like hell.  

*faze*

And the correct answer is a preowned DSG MK7 GTI with a warranty. 

Only for Jalopnik Gold subscribers.

If you read the first letter of every 20th message I have ever posted since 2015 you will find a coded message.

I tried sending a coded message stitched into the seams of a Puffalump but I think Stef intercepted it and it never got read.