So it would seem that to stray away from head gasket issues, remove any engine component with “EJ” in its part#.

The gal I’m stuck watching football with would instead ask what’s on HGTV and why in the hell I hadn’t yet emptied the dishwasher.

This picture was my favorite thing of 2017:

So a white guy

Like continuing the play until theres a stoppage, even though a player clearly is in need of medical attention?

“Continue play for 15 seconds while a player displays visible signs of an impact seizure” sounds exactly like what the NFL already does.

“Chloramine, and on top of that they’re putting in fluoride. Call me a conspiracy theorist…”

Great way to keep your pizza hot while driving home.

Better at not getting caught perhaps.

‘We only paid our kids $30,000, outrageous!’

“So Mr. Jeter, with our standard ticket price, multiplied by an expected season ticket holder base of ... let me see ... zero ... we can expect season ticket revenues of ... sorry, just let me grab my calculator ... zero dollars.”

Toyota did it better than anyone else did. Spruce Green Mica is my all time favorite car color.

I’m gonna be cliche here, but I think an unassuming brown/earth tone is the best color for any car.

Well, no it’s not.....Dark green is.

Blue might be the widest ranging “good” color, but the best? I’m not sure. If you want a good color for all people, then I guess blue is best. But if you want a good feeling for all people... British Racing Green is the best.

UCF was the tenth ranked team and would have been left out of an eight team playoff. There are 129 FBS schools. Force them all to go into eight conferences of 16 or 17 teams. The winners of each of the eight conferences go into the playoff. That way every team has a chance to win. Non-conference records only serve to…

Just imagine the kind of insufferable dickweed that you’d have to be to have Heisman-level talent and not even get a power-5 scholarship offer out of high school.

Oh it gets worse. You had Ozzie Newsome (Superbowl winning GM), Scott Pioli (another one), Thomas Dimitroff (another one), George Kokinis (won Superbowl with Ravens as executive), Kirk Ferentz (college coach), Pat Hill (another one), Jim Schwartz (Superbowl winning coordinator), Eric Mangini (another one), Al Groh…

“I love to see a fat guy score. First, you get a fat guy spike, then you get a fat guy dance.”