Cool spoiler.

I can’t wait!! There should be a follow up of James trying to dance with Bruno’s band. It would be hilariously bad.

I love candle drama.

I think Footstool from B&B and Carpet from Aladdin would’ve been buds.

Bless you, Anna. Bless you, Jezebel.

For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: “It might have been!”

This white person agrees. It was us. I don’t want it to be us, but there it is.

It is. So much about the story is about the white working class. Looking at the CNN exit polls, it is clear that Clinton won the working class in general, and under 100K vote, while when separated into segments, Trump won (barely) the $50-100K and everything above. But, Clinton won the college-educated white women,…

I’ve gone loopy from lack of sleep, depression, and terror, but here is my response to this:

I felt amazing today. I voted Sanders in the primary, supported Hillary since, but today was the first day I was really fucking PUMPED. How could this have happened? What are we going to do? I feel sick also. I don’t know what to say.

Except Facebook makes a ton of money off “friend collecting”.

There are so many points of cruelty and tragedy to this story, but one of the first things I thought was ‘who the fuck makes fun of curly hair??’ Like, what the fuck were these kids doing? I cannot wrap my head around what it is to be a tween now, and I’m still in my 20's.

I’ve only told this story to my closest friends. I haven’t even confided in my sister (for fear of the obvious shame). Please buckle in because this tale needs to be told in length.

YES YES YES YES. I look forward to this shit ALL YEAR. Not to downplay all the other funny and good Andy important things Jezebel publishes throughout the year, but spooky stories is your very greatest tradition.

One Direction: sex.

same...i couldn’t decide whether to choose that i have leg hair or don’t since i only shave when i absolutely have to.

Well, I self-published my first three books, a zombie apocalypse trilogy with an amnesiac werewolf as the protagonist. Self-publishing is surprisingly easy nowadays. The big headache? Promotion. It really helps to have the financial wherewithal to do great, wide-ranging marketing. I don’t, so I’ve only sold a few…

me circa 1997