dear neighborhood kids - stop taking my squirtles!

The obvious answer here is a scheme of injuring yourself on the table saw and then suing the landlord for leaving it there.

Imagine half of Leicester Cities fans and boards thought it would be a good idea to leave the FA because they didn’t like the influence other teams had on their ability to play football. Lets call it Foxit. But shockingly, leaving the FA means they are no longer in the Premier League and the FA CUp. They are no longer…

It was young Messi tearing it up in Germany that summer a decade ago that first opened my eyes to what people meant when they called soccer the beautiful game. That World Cup, the next one, following my favorite player from Argentina in the summer to Barcelona in the fall—those were the events and performances that…

Chastain?

Wondolowski?

“an american team approaching full capacity” - they were missing 4-5 starters

It’s just how I imagine Santa’s elves act all the time!

And there’s this

This should become a thing. Irish sports fans rampaging cities and repairing cars, installing new windows, painting storefronts. All while falling down drunk and singing.

I’m sorry.

I do wonder, with the rate of deteriorating jokes here, how long before Deadspin just starts headlines with, “Bryce Harper really slapped a deep dick in the outfield!”

Ugh. I am already tired of the LeBron Hagiography— he was gifted this championship.

Oh, but when I pour a drink all over a server I get fired from my job. Fucking IT department is no fun.

Rooting for Cleveland, but will never understand the mentality of someone who solely roots for the failure of others. Just sounds like a you problem if their happiness bothers you that much.

C’mon, man. If we kept out every crank with a hare-brained idea of what the country’s ills were, we wouldn’t even have a Congress.

Ah, fuck. I think you’re right. Now I have to endure 500 replies correcting my stupidity.

I said this in a comment a while back, but Ichiro will probably be the only Yankee I will have ever rooted for. But I am glad he’s moved on to somewhere else, where he can keep hitting and hopefully, eventually, make his ownership of the all-time hits record unambiguous.

I think we’re acknowledging the facts: