A 24 carat gold bar. I just want to sink my teeth into one - I imagined it would have the consistency of cold fudge. Tough, but you can take a bite out of it.

Right?! No one will ever hold her to account for foisting this jackwagon and Dr. Phil on the world.

Which, when you think about it, makes sense - Oprah made her billions pretending to be your friend. Drs. Oz and Phil make their millions pretending to give a shit about your health and your state of mind, respectively. Be…

Where are they? Find the person or persons responsible for this, and bring them to me, so that I may beat them to death with this 18-pound dry salami from Hickory Farms, still wet with the blood of he who thought it was an excellent gift idea.

Sting is always nude.

The biggest barrier is going to be when China finally says, “Oh, this lithium? No, that’s just for us, so sorry. Also that Lanthanum, and this Neodymium here, and all of that Praseodymium, we’ll be keeping that, most regretful.”

Still waiting for my full-size, fully-crewed NCC-1701A USS Enterprise simulator, built underground.

“...it’s a...well it is a moon, but it’s not just a moon.”

<blank stares>

“Luke, Leia’s your sister. You can’t fuck her.”

<flees>

Yeah, you get it transferred directly to the dealer with an Any Other Weapon cert, and then, uh...what?

Did not that motherfucker retire?

haaaaaaa nice

Hey. Hey Jason.

The Netherdeep?

Yes, but it’s pronounced Throatwarbler Mangrove.

THAT dude.

MEMORIES of DANGER

My take on what’s “off” about The Pacific? The narrative frequently left the theater of war to go home and follow stories there. That broke solidarity with the characters. In Band of Brothers, the men didn’t get to go home, and neither did we.

You have 401k matching, paid holidays, paid vacation, and health benefits because the unions of the 20th century drove the efforts to make those things the standard.

Those things you’re standing on as you contemplate the apparent permanence of your generous benefits? Shoulders, big ones.

We’re at the point now where…

Ants.

And the voiceover for Blade Runner.

“He said the last time he did something that stupid he ended up killing over a million people, almost fucked his sister, chopped his dad’s hand off, and then hiding hid out on an island for 30 years.”