BMW drivers dream to have this level of asshat parking job

One might say that those neo-nazis got Ostritz-ized.

My mom and dad went to the Anti-Vaccine conference and all I got was this lousy case of measles.  

It’s absolutely amazing to me that living in a world where there has never been greater access to knowledge and scientific research is making so many people even more stupid and less educated than they would be without that access.

They regularly rely on local law enforcement when they travel, which takes time and money away from respective communities who pay for it.

Nativist appeals will always be popular (and always be incredibly ironic when issued by Anglo-Europeans to Anglo-Europeans living in the US) precisely because the “This land is my land, it isn’t your land, I’ve got a shotgun, and you ain’t got one” knee-jerk reaction is so goddamned strong in most people. You see the…

Lotta shit come from space these days

Just get rid of him already, all these fucking people and their disgusting fucking edgy streams, learn some manners and laws because this shit is tiring.

The original Zadroga Act would not have passed 10 years ago were it not for Jon Stewart dedicating his personal and professional on air time to getting it passed. I have no idea why you are out of the greys.

Unless this is the first time you’ve seen something by Stewart, you’d know he isn’t shocked. But he’s still trying to use righteous anger and shame to get the 9/11 first responders the federal funding they deserve.

He's been fighting for 9/11 first responder healthcare for years. Troll harder. 

It really is an amazingly stupid business strategy. It’s almost like these dumbasses worship a failed businessman who has fucked up literally everything he’s ever touched.

Also,

You wouldn’t be ordering the Impossible Burger because it has soy in it, so this wouldn’t affect you at all. You would order the beef and that’s what you’d get. They didn’t substitute Impossible for Beef. They didn’t have any Impossible.

More likely there were a bunch of skeptics who ordered it and while eating the real meat burgers, thinking they were the Impossible burger, they were saying, “Yuk! This is terrible! It tastes nothing like the real thing!”

The everyday Japanese kind that demands you're not meiwaku.

“many historians do not deny that”

ohhhhhh, that’s where Trump gets “many people are saying.” 

Turns out the campaign to kill all the animals in the irradiated countryside wasn’t done merely to prevent the spread of the contamination, but also as an attempt to find and kill the American spies Moose and Squirrel.

are you trying to stop our discussion? because this is how you do it.

I can tell you the worst: St. Fucking Louis. Cheez whiz and ketchup on a saltine cracker.