Remember when Donald was going to make us respected by the whole world? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I can see it now, Merkel will go up to Trump and extend her hand to grab him by the balls, ‘cause when you are famous, you can do that’

“According to ABC, one parent posted on social media that students should respect Ryan because he has a fancy job, no matter how much you may want health insurance someday.”

Even Fox News is confirming the reporter’s story.

His Wikipedia has already been edited. Beautifully.

Oops, he read that memo wrong. He’s supposed to grab a woman by her pussy, not body slam a man. Totally messed up. He might lose now!

For Mayweather’s sake, I don’t know why you even bothered to write anything down.

The signing of such a high-profile contract is bound to have its detractors, but I am not one of them. Congrats to the whole Deadspin staff on this momentous occassion!

Honestly par for the course for this administration. Can’t wait for their reactions when we finally tear apart the last vestiges of the world they so desperately cling to.

oh god it’s all-star voting season again already
can’t we just... not do this

I’ve been waiting for this game for so long. Stick of Truth was a light, engaging gem with simple but enjoyable combat, fun exploration and if you’re a South Park fan at all, great laughs (my only criticism being it was too easy, even ratcheting up the difficulty).

Everything he does makes perfect sense when viewed through the lens that he literally thinks he is the only person in the world. Everything revolves around making sure other people know how much power he has, how much money he (allegedly) has, how many ‘hot’ young wives he can have and are appropriately awed by him.

Fuck Randy Orton and his looking down on Indy guys. If he isn’t the son of wrestling royalty, has anything he’s ever done warranted his outsized standing and paychecks?

Oh I know. Let’s all bear this the fuck in mind in 2018: the GOP is fine with treason so long as they turn a profit and the working class literally die.

How many high crimes and misdemeanors does this make? Literal treason at this point and the gutless GOP still happily sells out our country for their hideous agenda.

I can’t wait for Paul Ryan, Marcus Rubinstein, et al to come out with their courageous condemnations of this, since I know how concerned they are about mishandling of classified information. /s

“The human body is like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depleted.”

You know who’s a better athlete?