Starred for the workmanlike effort it took to get to that punchline.

+1 Comic Sans

“Oh my god, the lesbos have gotten to Roger!” - Margaret Court

All of us. We all take two and pass.

Josh Gordon Says He Got Drunk Before Every Browns Game

Gottlieb is a dumbass who is too much of a dumbass to understand the dumbass nuances of not being a dumbass, which are as follows:

So he’s fast. He doesn’t have much of a future if he can’t pull off a good flop.

Last time I played hide and seek was with my Dad when I was 5. I was really good at it too. I hid in the kitchen cabinet. Must’ve taken him 3 hours to find me. My Dad and I never had much of a relationship, but at least I have this wonderful memory of that one time I must’ve made him proud for how well I did.

When’s Pop announcing his 2020 campaign?

That batting analogy is solid... wish they used it more at checkpoints.

No, see, it’s only cucking if you’re agreeing with a liberal or a woman or a minority or a foreigner. If Graham had said the same thing about Obama, for example, he’d be an uber-cuck, because Obama is a minority and a liberal and Trump told me he’s a foreigner and he’s probably a woman too.

Agreed. I’ve never golfed before and ill put up my 95 Pontiac grand prix that I could kick his ass.

I appreciate the need to enhance fan safety, but can we give at least some consideration to the fan experience, too? They put Nets in Brooklyn a few years ago and the games have been unwatchable ever since.

As long as he stands respectfully for the anthem, what he does on his own time is his business.

At least he beat up a male. Refreshing.

“Caught having a brief affair at an Italian eatery” is the best Billy Joel song IMHO

You shut your filthy mouth about Wentz.

Holy macaroni what a bad take

Agreed. Once the keeper committed to diving for the save, he doubled or tripled the awesomeness factor of the moment, regardless of whether he saved or whiffed.

This dude is truly living his best life. He needs to send a gift basket to that goalie, though— this once-in-a-lifetime moment would have been a lot less awesome if the keeper had ignored his antics and just dismissively watched as the shot went in, instead of dynamically leaping to try to save it.