Man, I don't get what she's so angry about. I'm in Sydney and they don't have Cinnabon here and ... I cry about it sometimes.

Nope it doesn't.

I really, truly wanted to like this trailer and be ardently invested with the storyline but good grief, this was a painful cliche all wrapped up in a delicious marketing technique that's called Daniel Radcliffe, with whom I have sold my heart to and will consume this garbage with annoyed fervour.

When I came to Sydney, I was super disappointed at the menu range at McDonald's here (Sidenote: I cannot, for the life of me, understand why Oz's call it "Maccas" here), because when I was in the UAE, I would eat my weight in Chicken Big Macs and McArabia (they had beef and chicken) and since I eat only chicken, Oz…

SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE.

At first I was like, "yo?" and then I was like "YOOOOOOOOOO".

Oh maaaaaan, that was awful and purely entertaining. Loved it. :D

-sweats nervously-

Pretty sure that was Gordon Ramsay, dude. No, he was that dude who was known for his very high pitched, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!" when he learned of the death of that very insignificant person in the movies. That Potter woman.

Nah, it was the one with Jimmy Fallon. He was Anakin Skywalker.

Not. Into. Star. Wars?

T-the .... the wizard? Excuse you. Dumbledore's the name. Albus Dumbledore.

But then again, this is Cosmo. It's almost surprising how these guys have an active readership. People must be far more brain dead than the editor of the magazine.

Yes, and worse. And we have pieces of shit come up and tell us, "But we're complimenting your tits/ass and qualities that don't make you you so be pleased." Like, fuck off.

I could buy a fucking house in a metropolis city in India. It infuriates me.

I meant her personality was more realistic. It's not that she kills them off like they were nothing, but it's Survival 101, I mean, stranded on an island that is bleeding with people that keep trying to kill her will obviously get her to toughen up. She isn't okay with killing her enemies ("it's scary how easy that…

As we can see, this outfit is incredibly ridiculous and impractical and if that is the case for a male, it certainly is for a female. Don't get me wrong, kudos to this guy. It takes a special kind of awesome to pull off gender bender Lara Croft, but I've always hated her outfit, which is why I absolutely loved the…

Whoever this person is, I hate them fiercely and wish for them to burn inside the fires of a thousand suns.

Absolutely not. But then again, I am prejudiced against it because my mother made me wear scrunchies that looked like a cat's coughed up furballs covered in colours of the fucking rainbow.