“You need to learn how to not make everything about you.” (says the dude coming at a fellow internet commenter, who just shared her history of trauma, with condescension and dismissal)

I hope you’re able to see my comments. We are on the same page. This person fighting you about your lack of empathy (while hypocritically showing you none) wants a sanitized kum ba yah we just love and tolerate and applaude the author= and then treat her like she’s a fragile flower who can’t handle some opposing…

She has a right to voice her opinion on the subject more than most others here because she experienced similar abuse. Her feelings on the issue are just as valid as the authors and I’m glad we get to hear both. Opposition is not always a bad thing- this IS a discussion.

I don't think you're advocating an echo chamber, or at least, not after hearing your response :). But your first comment just stuck out to me - maybe I'm overly sensitive because as I said, I've seen a lot of "stop making this about YOU" lately, when really, that's kind of why we're here. So if I got that wrong, I…

Hey, I'm a moderator on Groupthink, which is Jez's commenter forum. I used to be a main page moderator when those existed and the way some people have responded to you would've resulted in moderator action back then. I'm really sorry. Please don't feel like you cannot express your pain or your experiences. If you…

That's a pretty personal attack on someone who basically said they were uncomfortable reading an article that normalizes incest, because they were a victim of it. I think their reaction is pretty normal, and it's okay for them to say it. Your responses show an incredible lack of empathy for them and what they survived.

Wow — let me get this straight, you're the slighted party here, because I said you were being horrible to an actual victim of abuse? Is that just about right...? Okay, "got it". You're a real class act, "rudebarb".

No, you riled up the mob mentality well for a few stars (which you'll noticed dropped off precipitously as the thread went on), but don't get the impression that this means "plenty of people agree". (And if they did that would excuse your actions?)

Well said.

Exactly.

I love that people are responding to you like assholes, while defending the idea of calling incest "normal".

i guess i really am being fundamentally misunderstood

i definitely did not start this yung shitshow with any sort of intention than just pure selfish expression, tbh, but i am super glad that people are getting something out of this

well damn if you're so above it all why you keep coming back here then

You should also empathize with OP's opinion that the author was not harsh enough in her disapproval for what happened to her, or that her experience should never be suggested as being "normal". "Normal" and "common" provide justification for situations like this. Abuse can never be justified.

If your apology is genuine then that's great, it's good to admit when we've said or done something that may have hurt someone. We can't be sure that the OP's comment didn't help someone. The people that starred the comment may have had similar feelings but were to afraid to make their opinions public, maybe some abuse…

and you can't expect me not to respond to people's opinions about how i shared my opinion about how people responded to how i responded to how people responded to my feelings

I was originally going to abstain from commenting since I have never suffered the sort of abuse mentioned by the writer or many people commenting here but I have trouble with the mild hypocrisy going on here. Rudebarb, you say that you"expect" the OP to show a little empathy yet you yourself are (probably) not an…

Holy shit, thank you. I'm sitting here with my mouth open reading RudeBarb's comments like...she's lecturing others on empathy when she has absolutely none of her own.

Except for the part where you told her she was communicating 'the wrong way', whatever the fuck that means. I don't care if you hide that fact behind wussy-ass lines like "was maybe not the right tack to take". She was communicating her feelings, so if you say she was communicating wrong, then you say she was feeling…