1000 adherents in the US? Make that 1001! Finally that “Keeping it Rael” tattoo on my lower arm I gave myself while drunk has meaning.

If we were really amazing we’d let this thing fight Trump for the POTUS championship belt then worship it as our new trash thief god.

Tired of being struck by vehicles the trash rats have taken to the sky. Godspeed you to the heavens and beyond little shit devil. Kill a few pigeon while you’re up there.

What about we stand on each other’s shoulders, like a 100 people or higher. Then everyone does one bring cartwheel together, flinging the person originally in the bottom at high speed into orbit.

A slingshot on a mountain top, then at the top of your arc you light the rockets taped to your shoes to get that final push into space. I think NASA is already doing this. By which I mean the National Acme Spacecoyotes of Arizona.

Please, please run for President in 2020. This world needs you.

***does line of cocaine***

Who wore it better?

Thanks for the heads up. These hip, swinging cats are gonna be huge!

Could you shoehorn some raunchy psycho sexual sub plots in as well? I think this could get produced.

The header photo looks like Mr Diesel just pooted and everyone else is just trying not to say anything.

It was a “No Jeffs” sex cult and they already had one Jeff. Sorry.

I heard Liberal Media was the name of the street thug that killed his parents for having too much hard earned money then he went and spent his food stamps on junk food and PlayStation.

It’ll be sexy enough

Careful, if they bring back the wooly mammoth in Siberia, Putin will find a way to ride it shirtless, prompting us to bring back a larger animal then back and forth until Donnie ends up with his head attached to robotic spider legs. From there it just gets weirder.

This was ‘99. Woodstock ‘94 was also terrible but had at least 50% less assault and arson.

Can’t we just get more clips of Angela Lansbury bathing?

Just read on a sister-site the other day about bros in the whitest house “icing” each other at staffer functions. And vaping.

Never got into the Hat Wars of the 90's, but I haven’t worn courdaroy since ‘98 and I’m thinking about going back.

This is a Texas heavy schedule. They always get the best early 2000's comedians.