i like it.

This has been the best iteration of this column.  Thank you.

Dumbest Male Athletes by Sport

My wife and I are expecting our first child. I’ve wanted out for so many years but now, finally, I have my perfect excuse.

Spell and pronounce their name differently.

Their rookie lineman showed more aggression getting arrested than he ever showed on the field of play. Their 2017 second-round pick got hurt in an ATV accident and will never play football again.

But I’ll bet he’s the type that does it when HE wants to and NEVER when you actually ask him. AKA a magnanimous prick.

Wake Forest’s assistant basketball coach is Morris Chestnut?

Balsamic Vinegar and/or Hot Sauce (Frank’s/Cholula/Sriracha)

Fold in half.

But a hot dog bun doesn’t have a top and bottom, it has two sides...

Fixed that for you!

Armstrong recalls, “the next thing you know, the entire patio is screaming ‘Fuck you, fuck you.’ I’ve never had that happen. I was like, ‘Oh.’ I was shaking.”

Markle once told Delish.com her favorite food is “a pasta dish containing slow-cooked courgette

He’s a sprinter, not a distance runner.

Where does it say a professional basketball guard must be “lean” and “healthy-looking”?

move the skillet off heat. ... Keep off heat.

At the end of the day, it’s not all that hard. Just be SUPER conscientious to EVERYTHING/EVERYONE.
Also, if you’re White/Black/Hispanic/Indian/Non-East Asian, most Japanese will be SUPER forgiving for any mistakes you make (in a slightly condescending way, but whatever...)

How long until someone puts a racist message on a banana?

So you’er in the “savory” camp?