Sam Bee is not obligated to support your quixotic dream of remaking our democracy at the expense of our actual democracy.

Jet fuel can’t melt bed springs.

The only moderator I will allow is Samantha Bee.

...

I hope for the sake of the nation that one day, the Green Party will discover that sarcasm does, indeed, exist.

I worked my ass off as a young to get the ERA passed. Phyllis got evolved with all her big money backing and did a ton of damage. Why? As she said, “women need to have the freedom to choose the role of wife and mother”.

Every time Phyllis’ name is mentioned, I love to take the opportunity to remind everyone that bitch used nannies to help raise her kids while she was on the road and shaming women who used nannies.

I offer my condolences to any of the family she had who might have loved her, and my congratulations to anyone who’s suffered under noxious judgment. Farewell Phyllis. You won’t be missed.

Welp...

Bye, Phyllis.

The ceremony will be held in the parking lot so everyone will have to look the other way.

And this is why you have to show up to vote in 2018 when we don’t have a sexy Presidential race on the ballot. Congress matters.

The working class has now had a decades-long experiment in declining union power. It’s not working. The evidence speaks for itself.

The debate over safe spaces, too, has become cartoonized, a shorthand way to complain about privileged millennials

How do I downgrade this comment nicely? Bras are the worst and no one should be forced to wear one ever for any reason.

Fucking Donovan.

Wondo’s mom brings the orange slices for halftime sooooo

I’m sick of Deadspin’s political commentary. Why are you guys showing a Trump rally? Stick to sports.

So the Galaxy won thanks to some deus ex maquina.

Cutting the cheese is part of the bathroom experience.