Me: [Gets haircut]
Kid: [Confused] “Daddy, you don’t have hair.”
Me: “And neither will you, you little shit.”

we went many, many years without incest porn.

I have to wonder how David feels when taking pictures underneath a vehicle without shit falling on him.

“That’s a cool trick, Anna. But let me show you how to make a first round pick disappear.” -Vlade Divac

Dr. Pepper missed out on a prime opportunity to have a doctor drinking their beverage live on national television. 

He looks so full of life, and pcp

While this was my initial worry with him, having seen his tactics effectively play out, his media releases are designed to have maximum impact both in the news and to Trump. It absolutely does feel like a reality TV show, but that’s where we are. The republicans are guilty of spreading massive amounts of…

I hope he is every week cause its the Packers fault we got this rule.

Mahomes has a good shot to get the Chiefs back to the AFCCG so they can lose due to Andy Reid’s shitty clock management skills

Mayfield received a lot of criticism coming out of college for being arrogant and short.

Probably a lot of "Hey, there he is!" and "What's up, chief?" and "There's my favorite girl!"

Esther,

Hot : Luke Warm :: Cold : ? Why don’t have a word for something that’s mildly cold? Don’t even try to say “cool” because no one describes their luke-cold drink as “cool”

The cycle of history repeats itself, and the Reds are now owned by a Christian.
It’s like perestroika all over again!

Only thing worse than a dumb dog is a “smart” dog that has its own (usually wrong) ideas.  Took me forever to train my shelter dog not to pee on the tile in the living room and then bring me a roll of paper towels. She just didn’t understand. According to her, “Problem solved! Why are you mad?”

“Sean, you know what tomorrow is, right?”

Standing in front of the opened fridge. Follow by a blast of aerosol whipped cream.

The Browns were +5 in takeaways today. Since the Browns returned to the NFL, teams with a turnover margin of +5 or better in a game are 132-4-1. The Browns are responsible for two of those losses and the tie.

Difference?

The Caps winning the Cup has been the one thing keeping me sane this summer. I’ve reveled in watching the players celebrate their day with the Cup in various ways and I want to do it again in 2019.