You know it’s bad when Alex basically calls you an idiot, just in a really gentle, Canadian kind of way.

Shaving around your asshole is actually a relatively pain-free experience. I have a razor in the shower speciically for this purpose (thanks Dollar Shave Club). You just squat down like you’re ready to poo in the woods (make sure you don’t have to poo at this point) and gently shave the inner part of your cheeks. I…

Mark Brunell would probably need to go into therapy.

Incredibly, I’d still rather watch every John Scott all-star shift than a second of the Pro Bowl. Full disclosure, I’m a hockey fan, though I prefer the NFL.

“Classless.”

Thank you. I’ve never understood the high standing it seemingly enjoys. Same goes for a meatball sub, for the matter. They’re terrible without sauce, so you need to toast the bread well to avoid a soggy sandwich, then you’re cutting the roof of your mouth with jagged bread.

Wonder what happened to Eli at the Manning family Christmas to cause this leak.

Seriously, no one likes chicken parm that much. Knew there was something going on.

I raise you one Daredevil.

Isn’t there a folk tale about Lincoln fighting a bear?

Can you imagine DDL’s method acting if he’d have been in this role?

My mom’s birthday is May 16th, which often is the same week as Mother’s Day. I tend to lump her gifts together or go with just one big gift. Might do dinner/lunch on one of the days to differentiate. Is this acceptable? She doesn’t seem to mind, but that Son Guilt creeps in. Her anniversary is/was on May 15th, as…

Let’s try to publically shame him back into the John O’Hurley Era of Family Feud. Goddam that guy needs more work.

I wish I’d never played this game before. I want to experience it new all over again. Honestly, if I were stuck on a deserted island and could only bring three games with me (because fuck picking only one), this would be on the list.

Pssh James Bond has been there, done it in that.

Now, THAT is a celebration trend I can get behind. Of course, NHL officiating is pretty poor to begin with. Bring in figure skating judges and you'd have FIFA-level corruption in sports in a season.

That's because in baseball they do the mature thing and hit you with a ball.

He better get back up if he's going to stop that free kick.

Gus would have torn the fabric of space-time if he’d have done the GB-Lions game the other night.

Fuck. Just realized we’re going to have to watch her die in HD... Wonder how many kids are going to play this without knowledge of that spoiler?