WHY DID YOU USE THAT NAME!?!?!?!?!!?

Damn. Now my lights just went out. What the hell, Kinja!???!?!

Hey! I just made your stars INcrement! Go me!

It is not Elon’s fault if you have a small dick.

I was whelmed once. I reported it, but the cops victim-shamed me and told me to stop wearing clown shoes to the Farmer’s Market.

Why do the stars decrement when I click them?

*Cue the Jets when Cutler goes down in Preseason week 3...

Actually, you can’t actually report a crime there. The hotline tells you to call the police. But by all means, let’s de-fund half the government to pay for this type of nonsense.

I can do that, I just don’t want to.

Surprise Ultron reappearance, anyone?

The football in the bottom picture seems...I dunno...softer somehow...

You should talk...

Is it wrong that I feel compelled to allow myself to be stung by thousands of these guys in the middle of the Large Hadron Collider during a full moon after bombarding myself with Gamma Radiation?

I do amature stand-up off and on, but I’ve used the same opening joke for quite a long time. It’s quick, it’s funny, and it gets a set moving along really well.

He writes the songs, motherfuckers!

Maybe something about where all the bees went?

Uh, we ALREADY know what we’ll find at the center of The Black Hole! We’ve known since 1979!

Ass-tractor. Universal asstractor...

Can you shrug in two dimentions? Which way would your shoulders go? How would you know when they go there, or when it was time for them to come back?!? Where does the shrug begin and end? WHO is Kaiser Sose!!?!?!?