We can be the eagles :)

I have two immediate family members with near-xmas birthdays. I believe a law should be passed outlawing birthdays between 11/25 and 1/25. If you are born within this period, your parents can pick a different one and have it witnessed by a doctor.

Well, sometimes I apply lip gloss. Imagine if a transgender person saw me doing that! The horror!

And those damn Mexican restaurants with their “Hombres” and “Damas” How am I supposed to know what that means? This is America, label your bathrooms in English!

Also, if you’re going to die on the hill that the actors appearances must be absolutely faithful to the book descriptions, we already have a Hermione problem. Book!Hermione is always implied to be rather plain. Emma Watson is very beautiful. Somehow, no one objects to this change.

Important female athletes endorsing tampons might actually encourage me to buy that brand. It just seems like they must know. Like, if this tampon can stand up and deal with whatever Rhonda Rousey goes through in a day, it can def handle me.

pretty good summation of their season thus far.

They didn't have to schedule the cowboys.

I like to think that the NFL and DNC got together and mutually scheduled terrible programming to encourage people to go out on Saturday nights.

"Two People Who Will Not Get The Prize Anyway Whine About No One Seeing Them Not Get The Prize."

“Daisy’s voice is full of money,” Gatsby said suddenly. That was it. I’d never understood before. It was full of money— that was the inexhaustible charm that rose and fell in it, the jingle of it, the cymbals’ song of it.

He is just so over everything.

I think it might be addicted to punctuation.

That lead image.

I'm concerned about your period abuse.

“chances must be against her being occupied by any part of that voluminous publication, of which either the matter or manner would not disgust a young person of taste: the substance of its papers so often consisting in the statement of improbable circumstances, unnatural characters, and topics of conversation which no…

A few years back I got stoned and watched that on Christmas Eve. Holy crap, it is so bizarre.

I’m 22. Sufjan Stevens and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are some of my favorite musicians. No idea if this will make you feel better.

My voicemail is at capacity and no one can leave any more messages. It's glorious.

It was a rough draft! What I really meant to say was “I respectfully disagree with your position and hope something unpleasant but unspecified happens to you at a later date!”