God damn it, I just got triggered again by how bad she was.

The only positive from that performance is that Sophie Marceau was there to make Denise Richards look like a booger.

Real men want Sophie Marceau. Horny teens who couldn’t find the clitoris with two hands, a flashlight and a map want Denise Richards.

Nah, we need her to be the Renee Belloq.

OK, let’s game it out:
India Jones - Aubrey Plaza
Marsha Brody - Helen Mirren
Sally the Sallah - Margo Martindale
Audrey Ravenwood (in flashback) - Julianne Moore
Mario Ravenwood - JGL

Short Rounderina - CGI!

1) I thought this was Lara Croft, but we will move past that.
2) This is going to bother me a lot, but the proper way to feminize this is not Indiana “Joan”

Jones is the last name. You don’t make a male character female by changing the last name. That’s like saying Jennifer Lawrence has to change her name to Jennifer…

And Margo Martindale as Sally Sallah.

Make it so!

Because he’s fucking better than you

Hot take: I would hire a conservative writer (if I was in the market for one) who actually said women who have abortions (and the doctors who perform them) should be jailed and/or given the death penalty.

Because that writer is actually being honest about the conservative point of view toward women and their…

I will never not laugh at sumo wrestlers’ thongs. Honor, tradition, culture, athleticism, blah, blah.

It’s still the same fat butts I laughed at when I was 9

I’m looking forward to reading the wikipedia plot summary because I’m a wimp. I support the Krasinski-Blunt franchise, though

I want every Twin plunked the next time these guys play. And Molitor?

I want him dead. I want his family dead. I want his house burned to the ground. I want to go there in the middle of the night and piss on the ashes.

That’s the... uh, Baltimore way.

A harpy is a harpy, no matter the sexual equipment

If you believe Tom Hanks was front and center in the movie, then no amount of excising figures from history or box checking will satisfy you.

Yeah, not watching. Your version sounds like it will suck moose balls.

in 1944

Sure, tell the heartwarming and inspirational story of a team of women who had to overcome... a woman manager, GM and total acceptance!

Don’t interrupt the box checking for box checking sake

In 1944? Uh-huh. Don’t fucking actually me

Lock Cranston down NOW for the manager part. And if you can’t get him, see if the guy who plays Pornstache on Orange is the New Black is available.

Well, Kamala doesn’t make that slam if Andre doesn’t jump two feet in the air, so there was some cooperation.

DiBiase was never anything BUT great. I came too late for the old Mid-South, but I remember when Watts turned it into UWF and Duggan was a bad-ass then. It was WWF that turned him into a doofus.