Oh, fuck off.

No, I handle it when my kid is being a shit. They straighten up or we leave.

And you come up to me and say that about my kid, be prepared to say it to the next person with fewer teeth. Go parent your own children and leave me the fuck alone. Or, if you don’t have kids, maybe shut the fuck up until whatever woman you…

Maybe Jim Carrey should play him so he can even out after that Andy Kaufmann thing.

Someone see if Idris Elba thinks Mr. Rogers should be played by a black woman.

OK, I’ve read the comments... but at some point, they had to do it and I’m going to let them off the ground.

When someone tries to do the right thing, no matter the motivation, I try to give them a little breathing room.

Reading is FUNdamental. My sister does gets a pass. Her husband does not. We aren’t close. I don’t value his opinion and only tolerate him because my sister seems to.

Mileage is going to vary.

Just so we’re clear for the rules of parenting:

So, she was asking for it?

If Brady wants to throw a football through this guy’s nutsack, I’m here for it.

Is this why they canceled Chuck? If Levi is one of these guys, I start setting things on fire.

Yeah, but he’s immortal

I want this show to end with Cinnabon Gene walking out and passing the Build-A-Bear and we see a late 40s redhead with sad and beautiful brown eyes and she hears a Russia spy story on the radio and she visibly flinches.

Did I fucking stutter? Selleck or GTFO.

Selleck or GTFO

NOW we will get to see the MSU fuckholes doing their best Jay Paterno impressions...

Close that school and make it the world’s largest outlet mall.

Hot take: This step is more important, more meaningful and will ultimately have more impact than whether the USOC sent someone to hear all the testimony.

The fact that fans didn’t walk away from his death machine after Chris Benoit is a stain on this country.

I personally quit after Lex Luger killed Miss Elizabeth.

We deserve every fucking thing Vince does. I won’t watch. You guys can enjoy it.

I’m here for your constructive views

Next step: Whatever Dean oversaw that medical center. Then the board of trustees, except for the one dude who got in front early. Then anyone in the counseling department who brushed even one of these women off. Then the head of the counseling department.

Then the asshole in that stupid Spartan costume. Just because.

The last full marathon I did, I ended up running/walking miles 23-25 with a husband/wife. You know how you just kind of fall in with people toward the end. Every time someone shouted out “You’re almost there!” the woman shouted back “I will fucking murder you!”

You know who should have had a bigger career? Julian McMahon. Whatever happened to that guy?