Steph Curry had to take a morning after pill and go see a counselor today, but glad you think it’s fair

OK, having said all that...

Ron Harper puts Steph Curry in his back pocket and farts

What the fuck are we supposed to do about it? I’m a Packers fan and I think he’d make a good Rodgers backup. He’s still good, but not so good that there is a real controversy and Rodgers is fairly durable anyway.

(I don’t live in GB. I’ve been to GB. I understand the cheese rapers there might be a problem.)

But they…

Fuck this guy with the candlestick in the billiard room while Professor Plum masturbates

1) Make me shower in that situation? Not unless you’re putting out after. Otherwise, we germ it up together.

2) Strawberries are the Harrison Ford of berries. You can have your trendy ones, but then you look up and realize you’ve consumed more things with strawberry — Pop-Tarts, ice cream, jelly, etc... — than any…

No go fuck your self

He should be. Problem is, he was the biggest star at a time when the league was struggling. Who do you think (the perception, not reality) that Magic and Bird had to “save” the league from?

So who ended up with who? I think Lucy got Schroeder drunk and pulled the goalie and now they are unhappily married and he teaches music in a shitty school and their kid, an oboe prodigy, is counting the days before he or she escapes

To quote Leonard’s mom: “Any guy who wants Violet to put out needs to find out what cologne her father wore.”

Always wanted Dumbledore or Lupin or someone to ask Snape: “How do you think Lily would feel about you being such a miserable cunt to her son? Do you think that honors her memory?”

Now I do. But believe me, there are Draco defenders who unironically make the same statement. Apologies for assuming you were among the brain dead

I let them stew in their ignorance, safe in the knowledge that I am better than them.

And my dad is cooler too!

“My mom isn’t fucking my dad’s boss while my dad bowls and I’m 100 percent sure my dad is actually my dad”

All of these kids are miserable twats. I used to love Peanuts.

Then I had kids and realized just how awful each of these kids were, including Charlie Brown. We haven’t watched one since. The kids know about Snoopy and think he’s cute, but they don’t know Lucy from Sally from Linus from Schroder.

And I have no…

You mean the offer of friendship that was preceded by Malfoy insulting the first friend Harry made in the wizard world and the one who rescued him (Hagrid); expressing his racist views (the robe shop) and then insulting the second friend Harry made (Ron, right in front of Harry)

Fuck Malfoy. Racist little Hitler youth…

This proper response is to: 1) Ask her to stop texting. 2) Grit your teeth and ignore her when she doesn’t. 3) End the date as soon as possible and say, “My penis is a grower AND a shower. Sorry you missed out”

Yeah, and there used to be teams named “Perfectos” and “Superbas”. Stupid is stupid, no matter how long it has been allowed to be stupid

The St. Louis Stallions were a few years before that. The NFL awarded the teams in 1993 and the Stallions were picked at least a year before that. The Baltimore team didn’t start until 1994.

Anyway, fuck Baltimore for being a ‘Merican city competing in the CFL.

Re-reading some of this stuff, the NFL had both St. Louis…

Cool Ranch Doritos are worse than Hitler’s taint. Fuck those things.

As for the team names, I was shocked to see “Stallions” in there. At one point, St. Louis was in the running for an NFL expansion team. (When Carolina and Jacksonville came in)

Carolina was a stone lock, but all the folks around here in Not Chicago…

They dragged him out of mothballs for the final show and it was the one time Stewart allowed himself to be really really smug. He let Kilborn do his bit and then the look on Stewart’s face was “Bitch. I owned you”