Nah. Ryan Howard. That’s all you have to say about the idiocy of the Phillies. The Braves haven’t made any ostentatiously horrible decisions like that.

As a Bengals fan, that's my standard posture during the NFL season.

I haven't seen this many upset Kentuckians since their state Board of Education ruled you couldn't buy your GED with possum skins

I guess the bright side for Kentucky fans is that this loss preemptively saves the disappointment of vacating the title in a few years.

This one time while playing Halo 3, I got raped by an 11 year old kid. Things just weren't the same after that.

Those kids at the back of the bus need to quiet the hell down or I'm pulling over, making them put up their windows and turning the heat on.

They should do a "speedrun" of an experienced Ocarina player coaching a gamer who never played it before. This led to me fist fighting many of my friends in college.

In fairness to Lemon, when they told him he was going to interview a Grand Wizard, he thought they meant John Wall.

Laziest way to find weed: Go on craigslist and search "bud"/ "mary jane" / any other slang. When you come into contact with someone willing to sell to you, tell them you want to meet at Dunkin Donuts. If their response is "No, cops like donuts" you, my friend, have found yourself a drug dealer.

Boom, white balance. White and gold. End.