Teleportation exists and we're talking about a football game?!?

Colo-RADD-o? Or Col-uh-RAH-Do?

Commenters: Rape jokes aren't funny and we don't want them on the site. Knock it off.

+47%

Eh, I'm, in the medical community, the malaria vaccine research he's been bankrolling is pretty much solidified his name as one of the "men who will cure malaria." I guess to North Americans, it's computers, but to the world... It's a little bigger.

According to Rivals he was the number 1 ranked QB recruit in 2012, number 1 overall from Alabama, and number 10 overall in the country. Not exactly unknown.

Only if the opportunity to make up the missed class was denied to a non-student athlete. There's a broad definition of "miss class" here.

At the risk of being the sucker who responds to a horrible troll....You realize the larger argument you're making? About mistreatment and people in positions of power? Is the "locker room" some kind of sacrosanct special case that can't be changed?

Yeah, the locker room might be a tough place to be around if you don't have steel for veins, but are you going to crucify a guy who may only have one thing (football) going for him in his life?

Oh look, an internet tough guy!

Yes, but she's saying "Champlain? Shmoopie loopie"

reminder - him doping has never been the issue...him destroying people's lives because they called him on it is what makes him such a massive d-bag.

Prrrrrrrrrrrreciousssss.

Perhaps he should just go with the informal of his first name; dick.

Purrcy Harvin

Incognito: Siri, send a message to Jonathan Martin saying I have Snickers leftover from Halloween.

Siri: I sent a text message to Jonathan Martin

Martin: :(

"Blackberry-sized hole in his head"

Oh no, the worst thing that can happen to someone is that they have a brief period of job uncertainty and awareness that people don't like them (for completely justified reasons). Everyone needs to be really careful to underscore the tragic suffering of Riley Cooper and get defensive on his behalf.

Fuck you.

Come on, Riley Cooper has been through a lot. For the past 8 weeks, he's been SURROUNDED by black people.