This is the equivalent of a man wearing clothes embroidered with Looney Tunes characters.

Cold political calculation?

Sounds like he's been talking to my prostitute.

I would have asked for a table dance from Meryl Streep.

Right Zoolander, models make people think.

Oh, right, this is the part I totally did not see coming where an idiot tells me that my career is no more important than some uneducated jack ass standing around in her underwear for a living.

If he's not bringing a can of gas and an AR-15 to school that should be counted as a stellar day of education.

Men of Earth: Neither have we.

Its funny because old people are going to die.

He teaches public school.

That's true.

Any lady with an iPad and a decent quality handgun would get there.

Was your penis exposed?

I agree with that statement.

Do they still make Zaps?

Wow, the catholic church sounds more wholesome and spiritually nourishing every time I read about it.

I take responsibility for no more than 3/8 of those.

Hey genius, I'm not a practicing physician but maybe it was the entire pie and bag of chips you ate right after.

Rich people are dumb.

I would have asked for a parachute.