My only real complaint is, if this were written south of the Mason-Dixon, I suspect Deadspin would paint it as reflective of Southern Culture. But, because racism doesn't exist in the North, this is just Mushnick trolling for a reaction.

corvette much???

Am I doing this right?

Happy 50th Anniversary, Ford Mustang!

MÚLTIPLOS ORGASMOS!!

As a professor of criminal justice who studies police violence, this is neither uncommon nor will result in any punishment for the officer despite being both illegal and (I can guarantee) against department policy as well. There's some commenter lurking around here claiming that the officer was responsible for…

Madeleine is on all of the drugs.

Cannot agree enough. Vodka is fucking horrible. I used to drink it all the time in college, but only because I had no idea how to sip & appreciate liquor and just wanted whatever would get me shitfaced cheapest/fastest. I hope this isn't the criteria voters today are using.

Listen, you vodka-swilling morons - VODKA IS A SHAM!!!!

The servants that set up your picnic must also eat. After they serve the beluga.

The Mercedes Benz SL's neck warmer... JUST PUT THE DAMN ROOF UP!

If you buy a 918, there's an option to buy a matching 911 Turbo S

BMW's Marten repeller

RR Umbrella in Phantom coupe.

I submit the Bang & Olufsen pop-up tweeter option for select Audis. I can't speak for how good they sound, but is it really necessary to have these pop up and retract? What functionality does the pop-up and retract really add?

It's gotta be Whale-Penis leather, right?

Porsche offering to paint your key the same color as your car for a few hundred dollars. Why? Why the hell would I need it painted? That is just a waste!