You’re joking, but it is true. In training, one of my mentors once said “you know, when you say you are going to do something you actually do it!” She was genuinely shocked at my ability to not screw things up. I was 28, unmarried, no kids, a physician 4 years into my training, the sort of person she dealt with every…

“First rule is to make sure your opponents are the ones playing checkers while you play chess”

- Lavar Ball, while staring at a backgammon board

They had fans. Like how the San Diego Chargers had fans.

Any Lions fan who suffered through Mornhinweg’s tenure as head coach/OC can tell you that the guy is horrible. He designs his offense and calls his plays as if he is completely divorced from reality. He has no ability to adjust his game plans to the players he has, and treats being an OC like playing some kind of…

Timely, I’d venture.

[Tom Ley walks into Deadspin office with a big pile of dogshit in his hands]

I remember about a decade ago, I decided to make a real go at trying to teach my dad how to use the internet. I tried to explain what Google was and how he can type in whatever he wanted to know more about and how you click on the links that appear and how to click the “back” button to go back to the original page…

you’ll see a flash of tie-dye and find yourself on the ground before you know it

If they want international experience and the appearance of not being sexist or racist, hasn’t Condi Rice publically stated NFL commissioner is her dream job?

Hey, remember when people were talking about Condoleeza Rice for commissioner a few years ago?

Goodell’s entire career has been the result of people confusing correlation with causation.

I’m just waiting for the moment jerry jones pulls the cowboys out of the NFL and starts his own competing league

Lee Hacksaw Hamilton! “From Baja to the Canadian Rockies!” “Leucadia, show me your lightning bolt!”

One summer during college, I needed a job so my cousin (well, my cousin’s husband), who is a roofer, offered me a job doing random gofer shit. Since he is also a degenerate gambler, he spent most of the time sitting in his truck talking to his bookie. I spent most of time in the godforsaken heat throwing shingles down…

Did this joke come too early?

This guy keeps going back and forth like Louis CK in a hotel room.

Jerry Jones’s mounting efforts

McAdoo has the hair of the man that starts dating your recently divorced mom. He drives a Trans Am, but not the cool Smokey & The Bandit one. The real shitty one from the 1990s. “Uncle” McAdoo plays in a Styx cover band and routinely finds hair in his food at Outback Steakhouse so he can get a free bloomin’ onion.

Serious here. Try life without most of the NFL.
Several years ago, I was in two fantasy leagues and a couple of pick’em, spend $2 to win $18, kind of leagues.
After I got married and started a family, I cut out the fantasy leagues because it just wasn’t fun when I couldn’t devote the time. I switched jobs and went…

I am officially Team Meteor in any Jones-Kraft feud.