Hero is being overused again.

After many close shaves of late, Galette finally got cut.

Just reading it makes it sound—good or not as bad—so I thank you because i know watching it wasn’t.

Colin correctly cleared his colon; commonly construed crows clamor, consistently, craving compost.

They didn’t respond out of fear they would each say Kobe, thereby releasing him from his tomb to destroy another season of Lakers basketball.

If Trump is elected, is he—you know—going to murder all the Hispanics?

His top five, the starting 5 of the 2014-15 Golden State Warriors.

Finds a paper bag, breathes in deep. Repeat. Dreams of KoToR III happening again instead of that silly TOR MMO.

This list isn’t based on which movie made you cry the hardest, or maybe it is? Damn you Andy for giving away your toys! DAMN YOU!

Is anyone even slightly concerned that NO ONE has mentioned that he is 19 and was trying to order drinks at a bar?!?! Anyone?

3rd-4th string QB, your hope for a joke, unlike his punch, failed the hit the intended mark.

Hopefully this will get him kicked off the team. Nothing gives you a right to punch a girl in the face.

He’s, dare I say, “getting gritty wit it.”

I’m pretty sure most of these are him taking a legit shot at his own basket which is worse? Better?

When they do it for free—no one.

At least Scooby-Doo villains wear a mask.

“What would you like our database password to be Jeff?”

“We’ll have seven cameras pointed at the pitcher, to ensure his health throughout the game.”

Draw me like one of your lasagnas.

I’m going to consider this a win. #merica