The lesson, as always, is don’t tweet. 

>How is he so bad at presenting himself?

When Ariana and I start dating, I’ll have plenty to share. 

Padding his Supreme Court resume

You’re thinking of ‘large adult son’. 

Have you tried adding Benny Hill music?

I read this whole excerpt in Magary’s laughing voice. Deadcast will be lit.  

I made it to the first “GAME ON” before screaming for mercy, but then I read the next sentence and learned that’s where you paused as well, so I endured another ten seconds just out of principle. Fuck you, Magary.

Pfffft. You gotta order with ‘KINJA’ then smash the bottles, rookie. 

Pfffft. You gotta order with ‘KINJA’ then smash the bottles, rookie. 

You’re just stalling now

All the stars

“I’m guessing you’ve already made your judgement, but I’d take the hyper-offended internet mob’s interpretation of things with a grain of salt.”

Battle of Midline

I’d shoot Toby. 

“Abraham Lincoln, a white man, freed the slaves”

I kept it for years solely to track birthdays, until I realized I didn’t even use it for that. Rip off the band-aid, it’s much easier than you think. 

“How is that fair to me?”

Barley’s Taproom, Asheville, NC. The food is fine (you could even argue their pizza is good and not be wrong) but the beer selection is unrivaled, and they try to keep much on a good rotation schedule. Great bartenders and diverse taps between upstairs and downstairs, very much worth a visit.

Jay Rock is here to save us all. 

Don’t get fired on a Friday.