For many people, if you don’t need a truck for work on a daily basis, you can get a perfectly nice used truck from the late 90s for $4-5k, all day long. Sure, it’s going to have miles on it, and it’s probably not great as a daily driver, but for weekend folks like me, it’s perfect.

Now yours sounds like a truck I can appreciate. Honest, hardworking, and not the size of a fucking aircraft carrier. Most new trucks are just incredibly stupid with their space management.

I never owned a truck until May, upon moving to Texas. Trucks are kind of a thing here.

Finally, a truck that can haul around your mom.

Unless the dude that operated the NASA crawler-transporter happens to read Jalopnik, I think you got everyone beat! I saw one of those trucks live in the Caterpillar museum, and it’s hard to describe their size in words...

One of these. It’s literally bigger than many houses.

If I miscalculate the “ready” day for avocados and they aren’t ripe yet, I cut them in half and throw them on the grill.

Really, we don’t know anything. We are assuming he was playing, and the cars capabilities exceeded the drivers. We are probably right of course. But we have no idea. He could have had a medical issue. Or his hooker may have spilled all the cocaine. His pet ferret could have gotten out of the carrier, bit the hooker…

Even with the 500's when they were approaching a corner at the end of a straight the first things I heard were wind and chain noise - way before I heard the engines.

Its a shame literally everyone who has ever ridden one of these was killed immediately because of their lack of exhaust noise.

I think people would be happier if they just reveled in actually being the asshole rather than trying to figure out if they were the asshole.

Three eggs is too many, one is not enough; two eggs is the perfect amount.

1. Be nice to the staff, treat them with respect.

Cutaways, real or illustrated, are the best car porn.  

How do you get free drinks at a bar or restaurant? Spend a lot of money there first (and be nice) (and tip well).

That wouldn’t be upsetting. It would be amazing!

I was really hoping the headline meant he got a can with a single, giant bean in it. Like, filling up the whole can.

Right because being physically /mentally exhausted with work and kids and other commitments has never made someone too tired for sex. I do not want to have sex while practically falling asleep and I absolutely do not want the person I’m with falling asleep during sex (I’ve experienced this and it sucks. How am I ever…