The Hurt Locker?

Bald guy who spoke before Horowitz announced Moonlight. There's already a bunch of commotion on stage and disappointed looks, no one's speaking into the microphone, dude figures "guess I'll shout out my family while we're standing here," finishes his speech with "we didn't win, so it doesn't matter."

"was listening to local news radio"

Less classy: the guy who spoke right before him who KNEW it was a mistake but was like "fuck it, I'm going to fill airtime while they figure this out by reciting my acceptance speech."

"Best Hard Rock or Heavy Metal Performance, here I come!"

And then, that night, so did you

Why do you think I'm gonna need to wash my hair?

If you think Pitchfork is a college and they're saying anything below a 6 is an F, then sure!

Crunchies in back

shit @cuttles0:disqus you'd love it the most

Maybe @disqus_8pASCy43Wp:disqus meant dull like an old knife that you're stabbing yourself with, and it's catching every time you pull it back out

I meant to tell you: Vanity Fair is hosting the after-party once we're done washing my hair

I have to wash my hair that night

Be pretty cool if for literally everything 45's administration did, Samantha Bee just went ahead and did a better, more fun version of it.

Wait, Dik! STOP!

… but enough about ethics!

Yes, it's very elitist of me to understand how a rating between 0 and 10 works!

How dare they give it a 7.8, which is basically the same as the B+ given here at the AV Club! Why, that means "very good plus"! HOW FUCKING DARE THEY

The new Men's Wearhouse Exoskeleton(TM).

You didn't see Sideways?