"Danger Zone" is a torch song?

[nails a vocal run on the first take]

Most of them are in their 60s and are not likely to want to go onstage without hats.

… and Will Lee is one of them!

Our new vice president will make sure we ALL keep our homophones straight!

That reminds me: I need to switch loads!

Who's "they"? If you mean Fox News, where were you from 2000 to 2008?

Geraldo is still posting nude selfies, so I don't think he's scooping much laundry.

They're also trying to make Tucker "I've Been a Joke Since 2004" Carlson a thing!

I've watched I'm Gonna Die Alone so many times, and then bought the album version and listened to it a bunch more. Super excited to check out the new special this weekend.

She was making up a series of fake "pro Hillary" tweets to bait Bernie fans who were literally looking up Hillary mentions on Twitter and berating people. It was all fun and games until someone decided she was trying to make a point with the "murder" mention, when in fact her point seemed to be "look at how my merely…

Maybe your jokes just suck, dude.

I hear the internet wants one of those!

Do you buy everything that comes out on 4AD?

Wait a minute. Are you saying that people who choose to be internet Nazis might not be the sharpest tools in their respective sheds?

Oh no! Nicholas Cage is ripping John Carpenter open to search for clues!

Billy on the Street does holograms now? Far out!

He died last year.

Bummer for him. He's going to miss out on the race war he tried in vain to start all those years ago.

So that Alanis has something to write about