I like when a long post starts with basically a warning that the rest of the post will not be worth my time!

68-year-olds can't play 78-year-olds?

This whole "go to prison for rape even though you're a rich male" is a pretty new concept. The courts aren't really sure how to handle it yet.

Can someone collect all these cool art photos and Photoshop all of the trying-too-hard humans out of them?

As opposed to… where, exactly?

I was 9.

Even if her current trajectory of diminishing returns continues, she's got at least 5 years before she'd star in a sitcom again.

Have you met a Stevie Nicks fan? They are cultish. She is like a Top 40 Tori Amos.

Also, pretty sure Dennis Miller stopped understanding comedy right about the time he decided Islamophobia was [twitches head] "totally my thing, babe."

Marry the little forklift truck guy

Spade was the funniest dick on SNL during the period where Lorne hired a bunch of dicks.

Got any?

Did Ann Coulter write that post for you?

Yes, it is on a vaudeville stage hook! That's how AMC cancels its shows.

It is a moral imperative that this is always referenced in the first comment on a Schwimmer-related article.

You're supposed to wait 20 minutes after OJ before Schwimming.

Just look at all of those boxes behind Schwimmer that witnesses could have been moving around while answering the detectives' questions!

That's right. Take a good, long look at Mark E. Smith.

Apples can't do it with dogs!

I wasn't offering!