“That person doesn’t want to fuck me” is my opening gambit in all my social interactions.

The issue isn’t that trans folk are going into bathrooms; the issue is that they have thermal imaging and cloaking devices! And the NRA’s lobbying arm is so powerful I can’t even imagine what it will take to disarm the trans population from their plasma guns....

Heather McNamara (originally played by Lisanne Falk) is a black lesbian; Heather Duke (Shannen Doherty) is a male who identifies as gender-queer whose real name is Heath; and Heather Chandler (Kim Walker) has a body like Martha Dumptruck.

My little bro turned 42 the other day. Christ on a cracker. Feelin’ ya!

Seeing as how your avatar is G’Kar I’m gonna go with.... 1999-2001.

I’m 31. The worst for me was when my “baby cousin” turned 18. Every time she posts a picture of herself in my head I’m just like.... no... you’re 3.

Haha now I wonder how my big brother feels about me nearing 50

A while back one of my cousins was on Facebook taking about his kid touring colleges and I was just like, “WTF?! I remember his mom being pregnant with him!”

I guess Flea is more of an Irish Spring man.

Well gee when you put it that way, now I wish he was alive too.

It doesn’t have to remind you of that. It IS that.

^ This one. This is the best physical comparison yet.

Before you were born an ugly, warted old woman sat by the side of the road and asked for help changing a tire. Your parents stopped and changed it for the old woman, kindly. Then, before their very eyes-the old woman began to transform into the most beautiful fairy princess they had ever seen!

Aw, I’m sorry to hear you’re having a rough day. Wishing you cookies and wine.

Seriously?

Speaking on behalf of millions of depressives: shut the fuck up, LaToya.

And yet even when I recognize it, I never fail to be astounded by the arrogance it takes for a man to decide his family no longer gets to live.

You spelled that correctly. You get a cookie.