My uncle told us all about a study he’d read about that found that black people, on average, have an IQ just barely above the upper threshold for mentally handicapped. He then went on about how violent they are and how he “wouldn’t rent to ‘em either.”

I’m still hoping I’ll wake up.

Does she think we’re elves or something?

Apparently of my mom’s (former?) friends was involved in a top-secret military operation back in the ‘80s, where his team assassinated the real Castro and replaced him with a CIA double. Or so he says.

One time I was at the mall and I heard a loud grinding sound and I came around the corner and Tom Hanks was standing there with a running wood chipper and a big sack labeled KITTENS and he was reaching into it and pulling kittens out and throwing the kittens into the woodchipper and all the blood and stuff was…

Hey, what’d the Tharks ever do to us?

Weirdo.

Oh wait I just remembered there’s also Sheryl Nome from Macross Frontier.

Y...yaaayyyyyyy...?

Up until now the only other person I’ve encountered with this birthday was literally one of the dumbest human beings I’ve ever had to work with.

I wish I could just sleep for four years without a bunch of buzzkill “doctors” calling it a “coma” and putting me in a “hospital” and sticking me full of “tubes.”

Jesus, that’s awful.

I just got off my lazy ass and got Arby’s.

I have not. I actually almost never play video games, I just decided to check out DDO because I needed an escape and it was free and I’d just spent a bunch of money on DnD books even though I have no one to play it with GOD WHAT WAS I THINKING SO STUPID

See intellectually I know that, but since my dad died at 45 my pessimistic anxiety-riddled brain has latched onto the idea that I’m probably gonna die in my 40s too so every year it’s this gong of TIME IS RUNNING OUT YOU FAILURE. It’s kinda hard to be positive when my own brain is constantly trying to sabotage me.

I’m a shitty cook, so I’m letting other family members deal with that mess.

My achilles tendons hurt just thinking about what could go wrong on a barefoot escalator ride.

Her first album’s good, I can say that much. I haven’t heard much of anything she’s done after that so I can’t say if she suddenly started to suck or something.

I wish we could retcon life.