saying that I have no personality

Shit, I wish someone would pay me ten million to go away.

Feeding a large group of ducks.

My album titles are boring. Even my “goofy” ones are kinda lame:

The thought’s idly crossed my mind a couple times as well, but then I remember I can’t even afford to move to another state right now let alone another country. :(

I think I’m going to start printing out stories like this and carrying them around for when people ask me why I’m such a pessimist. Holy fuck.

The more I read about fraternities the more they seem like a bad writer’s attempt to make sure people know a villain is bad by making them just over the top, cartoonishly evil.

At this point I just assume that everything in a Disney movie is a penis.

What I’ve been saying for a while now: this country’s got problems.

This right here is definitely my least favorite internet subculture.

Of course North Dakota’s still red.

Well.

Go back far enough and #WeAreAllFish

What the fuck?

I’ve seen it on the shelf at Target, does that count?

Ehh, I’m sure I could GoFundMe enough money to get a champion of my own.