What in, and I cannot stress this enough, the actual fuck are you talking about?

Can you imagine bringing this in for repair and they throw you in a Dodge Avenger loaner?  Yea Merc, BMW, and Lexus won’t do you like that.

Agreed, it's hideous. Although, there's no longer anything special about the Grand Cherokee either.  

Is now a good time to discuss how butt-ugly these things are? All of the yuppie parents in my town are buying them so I always see them sitting in the carpool line at school. It is hard to believe this car can look so bad and poorly designed when the new Grand Cherokee looks so good.

That kind of gas mileage is absolutely unacceptable nowadays tbh. Maybe the turbo 6 will help more than I’m guessing it will, but sub-12mpg from a new car is absurd and should bring guilt to anyone driving such a vehicle. Toyota has also been known for letting their trucks live a long time in the same generation…

Yep. I dig the Accord option as well. I had a 2012 EX-L V6 sedan and loved it...until it got rear-ended by a Silverado and was totaled.

Put some high performance tires on that Accord, and it’ll easily hold its own against sports cars in the same price range. It also shouldn’t cut into Gabe’s beer and ramen funds with upkeep costs.

I second your answer for a number of reasons, the first few of which are self-explanatory.

The Accord is the answer.

The Fast and the Fuhrerious

I would definitely have the repair done as a Prelude to any kind of grand Odyssey... Especially one long enough where I’d need a Passport and might end up out of my Element.

According to some Pilots it could be a Jazzy way to become Fit by hosing it a second time to put out the flames! You’d be Legendary!

I will take mine in on my own Accord, thankyouverymuch.

I made this, it makes the 2019 Camaro look much better.

All I see are a whole bunch of these:

I recently parked next to a new F150 and, while getting in my car, realized my roof is the same height as the F150's hood. Its headlights are the same height as my rear window. This is getting out of hand.

I’m kind of the opposite, the Pilot is too big and the CRV don’t have a big enough engine....this seems just about perfect. 

Now who’s this for?

You’d be surprised. Not having that 3rd row gives a lot more room behind the second row, and under floor storage. It also has more ground clearance and will probably be faster/get better fuel economy due to less size/weight.

I see a recurring theme in the comments: sure it’s nice, but you’ll want more truck from your truck at some point.