Nailed it. Everyone hated the styling of the 1 series when it was introduced. “It looks like a giant sat on it! Hahahaha!” Now that’s been around long enough to become traditional, folks are once again hating the new design. At this point, BMW knows there's no winning, so is gonna do what they want.

I know anxiety and panic attacks are triggered differently for different people, but this guy really can’t work because his boss is a douchebag (join like 99% of the population with jobs) and the boss told him not to respond to....what seems like...a fender bender?

Are you surprised? He brought multiple women into the station to watch TV, eat meals, and even go on ridealongs. I don’t think monogamy is his thing.

Nah man! Bullets totally can curve! I saw it in this documentary that featured Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman!

/s

They didn’t lose their lives. They were KILLED.

What if I email over pictures of my house, current car, how I dress normally, etc. so you can decide just how much you can rip me off for.

I should get business cards that say “Professional Nothing with a Nothing.”

definitely the best part.  Its so genuine.

Can’t be good for the river either.

One burrito is way too big for a single meal

Personally, I’m looking forward to seeing what new culinary abominations she comes up with next! : P

I wouldn’t advise putting oil and vinegar on your ice cream at the same time—it’s not a salad!—but you should definitely alternate.

I was being facetious, lol.

Wait, what?
No...

To quote one of the most profound and thought-provoking minds of my lifetime:

“One burrito is way too big for a single meal”

lol what

Leftovers are an extra chore, and I don’t want to have to dirty another tupperware... I’d rather just keep buying pants with larger waists.

Obviously the author does not understand that we Americans will eat everything sitting in front of us - no matter the size.  Leftovers are an admission of defeat.  

Not to be bougey, but I’m willing to throw away the savings on the extra 15% of a burrito in order to let them assemble it for me.

One burrito is way too big for a single meal