TBH he’d probably crack your skull open with a fleshlight.

I’m not obsessed but I love that movie and it makes me laugh. As funny as Ben Stiller is, Phillip Seymour Hoffman steals every scene he’s in. And Jennifer was hot as f**k.

Especially Angelina- whatever else you might say about her, she seems like a great mom.

Unless Brad left Angie for Taylor.

She’s still married, right? To that creepy guy with the dyed hair and the leather clothes?

no, this comment is a joke.

hibernation pod

I don’t know. If this was really the reason she was divorcing him I don’t think she’d want him to have any visitation at all - and at the very least she’d be asking for supervised visitation. You know? She doesn’t strike me as the type to be like, “oh you might be a pedophile, here spend some time alone with our…

Also -- is the press going to harangue Brad for a decade now because of this divorce like they did to Jennifer Aniston? 

WOAH. I actually didn’t make that connection but he’s definitely considered a family man and he’s definitely an A-list international super star. Hmmmmm...

Makes sense, she can’t stay with someone for too long. Otherwise they start asking questions about how she never ages and needs permission to enter people’s homes.

PSA: Don’t put quotes on Instagram. No one wants to read that shit. NO ONE. Just keep posting bikini selfies and pics of your fruit topped french toast, ok?

If you are trying to say this is Tom Cruise’s fault don’t even bother. David Miscavige can account for Tom’s whereabouts on that day. Tom was at David’s personal sex dungeon that day which is located at the Church of Scientology on Gold Base compound.

Maybe because celebrities have stalkers?

The fact that those bangs will drive Bethenny nuts when they grow out gives me life.

Why does Sterling K. Brown’s hand literally look like chocolate?! This is really bothering me.

UM EXCUSE ME THE RUGRATS DID IN FACT GET OLDER

Hey Jon Cryer, how would you know that’s a new haircut unless you already knew who Bethenny Frankel is?

Charlie Sheen is the name that has repeatedly come up over the years in reference to this. (and he’s also been rumored to be gay as of a year or two ago based on widely tabloided reports of him and a gay escort partying.)