We will all be actually dead if it is Tom Hanks.

No it’s real. Too fucking real. Fucking New York. This place sucks a bag of dicks and is also amazing. Very strange dichotomy. But the complaining is real as fuck.

Anyone else sometimes suspect that all the complaining about New York from New Yorkers is just a scam to dissuade people from moving there?

Obviously you take the money up front cash, then don’t invite her to the wedding, and pretend she’s crazy if she tries to sue you for the money back.

The only thing I could fap to in that trailer was the fact that it ended.

Based on these pics, I’m surprised there’s not one of him drinking a pumpkin-spice latte.

First John Mayer Snapchats with the Stranger Things kids, now Orlando Bloom has a surprisingly pleasant Instagram. Ugh, I’m a sucker for dark-haired douchebags. (Go ahead and judge me; I would.)

Next they’ll tell us that film depictions of Abraham Lincoln, known vampire hunter, were also inaccurate.

Look, it doesn’t matter if the real guy was old and fat. If you cast Rufus Sewell in the role, everyone is going to want to sleep with him.

Working out of a clinic in his own home,

I would never have responded to her, got to school early, put my shit into the desk next to the window and been laying on the top bunk when that bitch opened the door.

I’ve read about it but I can’t decide if it’s real or not.

“...dark skinned women like Kim Kardashian...”

Kris Jenner is not Latina. “She is of Dutch, English, Irish, and Scottish descent.”

is there another kim kardashian that i dont know about

Bobby,

“So, I had the job of trying to eliminate that part of my persona,

“I came from the world of beauty pageants and modeling and right away when people heard that I got discounted as an actor.”